At 38K feet, flying over Texas closing in on the border of Arizona…….there is nothing much to do except knowing that your plane has a ground speed of 510 miles/hour and the outside temp is -51F. After all the magazines have been read, the drinks chugged down, the snacks eaten, what else is there? I can start a conversation with the passenger on my right but she is asleep or that’s just my alibi as I really don’t like opening up a conversation with strangers. Come to think of it, I am shy. I’ll just imagine why she is on this flight. Perhaps she is going home or vacationing or working.
The mind wanders/wonders in close quarters.
I started writing because I thought I had an epiphany on what I wanted to do in life. After years of flying all over, meeting people, seeing places and experiencing things….I began to wonder what now? whats next? Is this for me? Will I still be doing this down the line? I love telling stories, I love discovering and sharing my experiences…..that’s it! Eureka! I think I found it.
Many times I ask myself, will I be doing this in the next 10 years? I’ll be 53 then (now that’s another story). I have co-workers who are in their late 50’s and early 60’s and BAM, it’s a hard way to make a living. But what’s the recourse? After doing the same motions and actions (schedule, pack, fly, meetings, fly back and again and again) for the last 15 years, it’s all I know. I can only wish I was doing what I love and still make a living out of it. I love people and the interaction, I love helping people, I love making a difference. I dream of working with people and communities who do not have much. Maybe with children who value that pencil and paper one provides them so they can learn to write or have that chance to write their thoughts or draw their imaginations. I have that chance and take it for granted because I am too busy. Busy with the things……..so many things. That pen and paper is always at my desk, waiting…..begging to capture my thoughts. What is the value of my thoughts? I don’t know. To someone else it may mean nothing….just scribbled words of another soul wandering this earth or maybe it may mean something.
It’s funny how thoughts move from one to the other like raindrops falling all over the place. Right now, I finally heard Adele’s album on this fight (Delta 109), now it’s Train. See that’s what I am saying….like raindrops all over the place. Now where was I? Soul searching……don’t get me wrong, I love my life even with its imperfections. I have my beautiful family, my true treasures in this world and in my heart…..now my eyes are tearing up. I love them, I love them, I love them!!!
The search is what can I give to this world? I know it won’t be mind-boggling, it won’t be life altering, nothing of that sort. I am just me, a “one” among the billion souls on this earth. Making more money would be nice but I think that should come after I do what I love to do. Instead of making money and loving it because of the money. It’s really simple but we complicate things sometimes. I guess that’s why life is difficult. We are what we are because of our experiences. The experience molds us be it good or bad. I’d like to think we choose how we get molded into but I also counter that because sometimes there is no choice. It’s sad but it happens. The bottom line is just to love ourselves. Be kind to ourselves because we become better souls. A good soul is kind and gentle.
On that note, Flight Delta 109 is getting ready for landing. My thoughts have moved again. My thoughts are moving out of this “flying can” ….no more dramatic thoughts, no more soulful ideas. Now it’s ….do I have some bills to tip the shuttle driver? , How is traffic? What’s for dinner? that report better be done! ….. Ahh, such is life on the ground. Now I am beginning to love sitting in this flying can 🙂